i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
