I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
North Korea, Best Korea!
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize