It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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