I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
