office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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