SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
