you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I licked your asshole in confidence.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
