I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
