Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
