Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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