He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
