she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Randomize
