I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Randomize
