Your face is a jimmy john
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
