Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
