It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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