but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
