Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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