It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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