THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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