Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
