Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
