Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
