idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
