Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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