I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
