He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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