I'm so fucking centered right now
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
