I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
