I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
