i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
