We're like a lot better than the average bears
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
it's great music for shaving your balls
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
