last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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