4 words: hood of his car
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
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