Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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