Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
