id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
honey bunches of taint.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
