I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
