So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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