She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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