You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
