i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Pants are for mortals
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
