Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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