sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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