I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I will pee on everything he values.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
my liver is dry heaving
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
