Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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