just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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