may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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