who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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