I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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