Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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