I got chris browned last night
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize