So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
