when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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