so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
