I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
