Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
