Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
