why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
