using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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