Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I need to align my fucking chakras
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