So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
