dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
