HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
